The "build up" to The Marquette General Ore to Shore Mountain Bike Epic 48 mile race, August 8, 2009

The “build up” to The Marquette General Ore to Shore Mountain Bike Epic 48 mile race, August 8, 2009.

The excitement, anticipation and trepidation are building as Craig a.k.a. “Chief” Drozd and Joe a.k.a. “The Rocket”, “Lojack”, or “Big Ring” Rosenhauer rode their last training ride this past Tuesday!  They say that they rode my “speed” loop from my house, while I was away on vacation, and that they rode it in a blistering time of 38:54 which is 2:29 faster than the fastest time ever recorded!!  Since there are no witnesses I will have to take them at their word.  They were supposed to leave their “A” and “B” urine samples in a cooler on my front porch so that they could prove that they aren’t “doping” but the Tour de France official drug testing organization evidently lost their samples so now we’ll never know.  Doug Jones and I are thinking about selling our bikes because we can’t compete with that time!  That is ridiculous!!!  They must have had helium in their tires and were wearing those new poly swimsuits that are buoyant and aerodynamic and about to be banned because they provide an unfair technological advantage!!

Craig and Joe are on their way to the race, an epic 48 mile race through giant sand pits, lots of elevation changes, some rocky steep mountains and it’s worth repeating -- 48 miles long.  (http://www.oretoshore.com/events.html)  Just think, their bikes are about 32-35 pounds including their gear, water, and food and they have to pedal those things for 48 miles!!!

Think about Craig, who hates sand, riding into those giant momentum sucking sand pits listening to his inner voices, you know, one that says “Sand!!!  I hate sand!!!  My front tire is going wash out and if I don’t crash I’ll still lose all of my momentum and have to walk out!  Why did I sign up for this, again?” and the other one that says “Just pretend it is wet sand so it is easier to ride through and HAMMER ON like it is a road ride”.

Or Joe, who loves to ride the 14.5 mile BAB (Bald Mountain-Addison Oaks-Bald Mountain) tour, when he realizes he ONLY has to ride the BAB tour THREE times and he will still have about 5 more miles before he gets to the finish line.  His inner voices will be saying “Another uphill??  How many more can there be??  I should just get off and walk!!” and “I’m Big Ring Rosenhauer, I laugh at hills, bring it ON”.

I bet you can hardly wait for the Official Mountain Bike Ride Report to come out after the 48 Mile Ore to Shore Bike Race, now can you?  Neither can I.  I sure hope Craig or Joe writes one, since I’m not there so I can’t write it.

 

So, why didn’t I sign up for the Ore to Shore you ask?  Well, I am already missing my wedding anniversary for the Chequamegon Fat Tire Festival 40 mile mountain bike race and my son’s birthday for the Iceman Cometh 28 mile mountain bike race so I don’t want to push my luck, that and I am not CRAZY like Craig and Joe!

Sincerely,

Dan “Krash” Kiplinger

“Embedded” in-the-field Correspondent and Editor-in-chief for the “Official Mountain Bike Ride Report”.

Fellow mountain bikers, this is the first edition of the "2009 Official Mountain Bike Ride Report", Sunday, April 26th, 2009.

Our late season surprise 10” snowstorm (at least it was at my house) has come and gone. Easter has come and gone. The dreaded tax filing season has even come and gone. We are staring Mother’s Day and Spring Cleaning in the face so NOW IS THE TIME TO DECLARE THE OFFICIAL START OF THE 2009 MOUNTAIN BIKING SEASON!!!!

I know, I know. Some of you have already snuck off on your own or in pairs and have started riding (Craig, Joe, Alex, Peter, Steve). Some of you have even been training all winter at the gym (Daniela). I am not one of those people. My bike still has the dirt and rear flat tire from last year’s Iceman race on it. I have even had the joy of developing kidney stones this past week and have been completely laid up with excruciating pain and a 6 pound weight gain to boot.

So, while I am scheduling a mountain bike ride this Thursday (look for the separate Mountain Bike Ride Invitation for details on the ride) I will NOT be the one leading it. I am going back to the kidney specialist on Wednesday, so I will need SOMEONE ELSE to commit to leading the ride in my place. I may, however, attend the ride to see everyone off and welcome them back!!

We have a larger group of riders interested in riding this year, at least as judged by the number of Iceman registrations. Many of them are younger (significantly) than some of us graybeards. They are gung ho and offering options for additional places and days to ride, WHICH IS ALL WELL AND GOOD, but for others—NOW is the time for a motivational pep talk, a call to arms, something, anything, to stir you from your winter (or longer) sabbatical from your bike.

So, I have spent weeks, or days, or maybe it was hours, I can’t remember due to all the pain and pain medication for my kidney stones, but suffice it to say that I have spent time researching and developing the following literary encouragement. I am not going to tell you the author of this great piece of literature; it could have been me, or another rider, or a professional rider, or a professional journalist, or even George Plimpton for that matter. What matters is that you read it and heed it, and if you think you know who the author is/was, please Email me with your answer, don’t discuss it with anyone though, there could be a prize in it for the winner (winner to be drawn randomly from duplicate correct answers)!!

2009 Challenge!!!!

“Have you people pulled your noses from your PC’s and looked out the window? There is dirt to be seen, dirt to be rode on, dirt to wear, dirt to be digested.

For the few of you that have worked hard this winter to maintain a degree of condition, the few who have reduced your overall bike / body weight, the few of you who have snuck out for a ride this winter to get the jump on the rest of us, just skip ahead to the last paragraph.

For the majority of us though, please perform the following:

In the privacy of your home-

In the privacy of your restroom-

In the absence of your significant other, repeat the following.

I am pathetic.

Say this until you believe it. (This will take less time for some)

Now say the following:

This will be my best year.

Say it until you believe it. (This will take longer than the other part)

Remember when we rode on a weekly basis? Remember the stress of the day to get everything done so you could leave work to get to the ride? Remember the anticipation of the ride? Remember the generation of a good excuse that you could use if your performance was not up to expectations? Remember how the stress of life disappeared on the first five feet of the trail? Remember using your excuse at the first break? Remember how good your second wind felt when you found it? Remember dicing out your buddy? Remember the last dash? Remember the slow pace for the last 100 yards as you relived the ride and secretly wished it would last a little longer? Remember how smug you felt driving home with a dirty bike strapped to the rack? Remember having bragging rights for a week? Remember feeling good about yourself?????

I want to feel that way again. I want to ride on a weekly basis. I want as many of you people to join me.

So…with the inspiration portion of this note over, let’s make some plans. I would like get started in April. That will still give the cheaters time to sneak in a ride or two. Send me a note; let me know you want to be one with the dirt!!!”

2009 musings:

I bet you can hardly wait for the 2009 Mountain Bike season now can you?

Sincerely, Sincerely,

Dan “Krash” Kiplinger

“Embedded” in-the-field Correspondent and Editor-in-chief for the “Official Mountain Bike Ride Report”.