Yes I know this Ride Report is not very timely (really posted on 2/22/2009). Yes I have a lot of excuses but that is all they are excuses. There is no good reason for taking this long to write this ride report, other than to give you something to read and smile about in the dead of winter while you are waiting for us to start the 2009 Mountain Biking season. And yeah, its long, but hopefully it is worth reading!
Before the Race:
Doug “Rhino” Jones really wanted to get a last minute training ride in on his upgraded trusty Barracuda hard tail bike prior to the race so I agreed to lead a training ride with just him after work on the gravel roads around my house. When Doug showed up I wondered why he was hustling his bike up the driveway and parking it on the other side of my car and while I noticed it was a different color than I remembered I assumed it was due to the new front shock/fork. Then I noticed that the bike had disc brakes, which his trusty Barracuda did not, and I immediately knew that Doug was going to be the “stealth” bike rider this year!!! Doug had gone all out this year and bought a brand spanking new 29’er hard tail mountain bike. That means that his bike has bigger 29 inch wheels rather than the normal 26 inch wheels, and they are supposed to roll better, faster, more efficiently and give Doug a UNFAIR ADVANTAGE over the rest of us. Of course that is the whole idea behind riding a “stealth“ bike now isn’t it!!!
We had to get my bike lights out because we were getting a later start than we expected due to the delay checking out the new “stealth” bike, that and Doug wanted to put in a 20 mile ride. We took off and Doug had to stop a couple of times to make minor adjustments to his new bike but once he got it dialed in he left me in dust!!!! However, that was on the flats, on the hills I was able to pass him because he simply wasn’t able to put in enough training rides to be able to attack the hills this year due to his injury. To summarize, Doug’s “stealth” bike is very high end and I agreed to keep it a secret from everyone by simply telling everyone that he was much faster on a hard tail than he was on his full suspension Giant, which was a true statement since his new 29’er was a hard tail and everyone assumed that I was talking about his old Barracuda hard tail. That way he could pull the “stealth” bike trick on his fellow riders at the race like I did last year!
On the way to the Race:
Joe “Lojack” Rosenhauer, Dan “Krash” Kiplinger, Craig “Chief” Drozd, and Mike “I Love My Bike” Kurpinski carpooled up to Traverse City in Joe’s truck. Doug “Rhino” Jones was picking Bill “Billy Goat” Carol at the airport since Bill lives in Atlanta and driving up separately--that way Doug could keep his “stealth” bike secretly stowed in the back of his Jeep, just like I did in Joe’s Durango when he and I drove up last year! Alex “Race Boy” Zawinsky was driving up separately with his wife and kids.
We all met up at the registration location, registered, bought some biking items, left to check into the hotel and then headed to Ruby Tuesday’s for our pre-race dinner, well everyone except Alex as he was running way behind schedule. I learned to not accept the “helpful” suggestions my fellow riders gave me last year when they “encouraged” me to eat a large “healthy” salad for my pre-race meal instead of loading up on carbs and protein. Joe’s wife Sue “MUM” (Marathoner, Ultra Marathoner) Rosenhauer admonished me for listening to them and set me straight since she is a diet expert. So this year it was chicken and pasta for me and I was hoping that it would help my performance and endurance on race day! Dinner was very good, the company and banter (nay—trash talking, warnings, excuses, hints and tips) was even better!!
The RACE:
When we got up Saturday morning the weather wasn’t looking too good; cold, windy, with rain, freezing rain and snow in the forecast. We had breakfast as the excitement, anticipation and trepidation were building. Mike was getting nervous since it was his first race and he was going to be starting before everyone else because his age/experience/class group was starting at 9:40 AM, long before the rest of us. So Joe, Craig, Mike and I loaded up in the rain to head for the starting line. Doug and Bill laughed at us from the warm dry hotel doorway because they were going leave later in order to stay warm and dry for a competitive advantage over us as we got cold, stiff, miserable and wet while we waited for our start time well after Mike would be starting!!!
Once we got to the parking lot we started preparing the bikes by putting the front wheels back on, re-positioning seat heights, putting placards with our race numbers on our bikes, and ourselves, stocking up on drinks, goo packs, energy bars and layering on the clothes. By this time Mike was so nervous about the race and missing his starting time that he ignored Craig’s suggestion to lighten his bike by taking off his rear battery powered flashing light and rode off to find the starting line. Really, it was pretty amazing that Mike was still going to ride given all the “advice”, “hints”, “tips” and “warnings” he had heard on the ride up, and at dinner, and the ride to the starting line. You know, things like the many 100 yard long 20 feet deep sand pits, rock strewn hills, treacherous single tracks through the woods, giant up and down hills, the distance, the weather, the mud bogs and logs on the ride around or potentially through the lake, and to remember that he didn’t have to outrun any bears—he only had to outrun at least one other rider as the bear would get that rider instead of him!!! Anything to prepare him for the experience that is the Iceman, I mean after all, what are friends for! We got Mike to the starting line and he took off as we warned him about the first sand pit that was less than a 100 yards into the race that several people had already wiped out in.
Then we started looking for Alex “Race Boy” Zawinsky as he was starting at 10:10 AM, which was still long before we would be starting. We finally found him, he was arriving late, still making final adjustments to his riding gear and bike and so rattled that he lined up in the group that was starting after him!!! I finally got his attention and helped part the sea of bicycles so he could at least move up to the back of his starting group but that alone saved him 5 minutes as the groups start in 5 minute intervals. So, “Race Boy” owes me big time!!!
Then Joe, Craig and I went back to the parking lot to find Doug and Bill who, because they came so late were able to find a much closer parking spot and were already unloaded. Craig was busy admiring the brand spanking new 29’er assuming that Bill “Billy Goat” Carol had scored another sweet “loaner” bike like he did last year. Then Craig got suspicious when he couldn’t find Doug’s trusty old Barracuda and Doug and I couldn’t contain our laughter anymore and revealed that the 29’er was actually Doug’s “stealth” bike and that Bill was riding Doug’s full suspension Giant. Bill has an identical bike back in Atlanta so he would be comfortable riding Doug’s in the race. Bike envy set in big time for the “Chief” as Joe bought a new bike two years ago, I bought a new bike last year, and Doug bought a new bike this year!! Is there a new bike in Craig’s future for the 2009 Iceman? Only time, and Barb—his wife, will tell. I am willing to help Craig out by suggesting a nice expensive new tandem knowing that I can convince Barb that if she tells Craig to buy a new bike for himself then they can’t afford to get the tandem too—that way she doesn’t have to ride!!!
Joe and Craig piled back into Joe’s truck to stay warm and eat some snacks while I walked around the parking lot with my long winter bike pants down around my ankles as I tried to gauge whether I wanted to wear them during the race or not. I waved to Mike Luibrand in the parking lot but he ignored me because he didn’t want to be associated with the nut shuffling around the parking lot with his pants down and a long sleeve jersey half on one side and a vest half on the other side. Craig got out the truck to take pictures and he put ON a long sleeved jacket as I proclaimed that I was taking off my long pants and jersey and going in shorts, a light long sleeved shirt and vest—rain, sleet and snow be damned!!
We headed over to the start line so that Doug and Bill could start, since they were starting at 11:05 AM in the group directly in front of us. Then Joe, Craig and I got into our group and off we went at 11:10 AM. Craig bolted out to the lead and I lost track of him. I kept Joe in my sights as I tried not to hyperventilate like I did at the start of the race last year, controlling my breathing, talking to myself, and avoiding the people who crash early as that also slowed me up last year. Eventually I decided to pick off the six riders between me and Joe one by one until I announced to Joe that I was right behind him, feeling good. He said Craig was long gone. We into some traffic going up a hill and I passed on the right while Joe went to the left but he didn’t see me and didn’t know I was now in front of him!! I decided that I was feeling good and the rain, sleet, hail and snow that we were riding through was keeping me from overheating so I sped up. I caught up to Craig just as we went into a section of single track through the woods. I yelled up to Craig that I was right behind him and then I heard Joe yell that he was right behind me!!! As we left the single track Craig told me it was my turn to take the lead and break the wind so he could draft for awhile, so I did, right up to the midway point of the next mountain when Joe passed me. Craig yelled up and told me to keep up with Joe because he was overheating and had to stop to strip down. See, he put on that jacket at the last minute and it cost him, just like it cost me last year, because once you overheat, you can’t cool down and it just saps you for the rest of the ride. I chased Joe down and took the lead again and then I saw Doug “Rhino” Jones up ahead and tried to catch him. Unfortunately I started to overheat so I told Joe to catch Doug while I stopped to strip down some more. Fortunately I stopped before I really overheated because I didn’t over dress like last year so I was able to catch Doug a short time later. I told him he looked much better, more comfortable on a hard tail than the full suspension he rode last year. He was happy because wasn’t able to ride in the Chequamegon Fat Tire 40 in September but he was riding in the Iceman and feeling better than he did in last year’s race. Shortly after passing Doug I lost sight of Joe so I resorted to telling myself that any rider I saw in front of me was Joe, until I caught and passed the rider and was sure it wasn’t Joe, and I repeated that for the next rider, and the next rider, all the way to the end of the race! I never did catch Joe though, darn it.
Now for the most important details, what everyone’s times were and how they did. Read the Buildup to the Iceman, written on November 3rd, to see what the pre-race predictions were!
Mike “I Love My Bike” Kurpinski, riding in his very first mountain bike race, all alone in the front of “our guys” since his wave started at 9:40 AM, crashing at least 8+ times usually in a sand pit due to someone else crashing in front of him or cutting him off (so he says—since we obviously didn’t see him) but riding like a maniac because he was immensely afraid of being passed by Alex “Race Boy” Zawinsky who was starting “only” 30 minutes behind him, finished FIRST, yes that is NOT a misprint, finished FIRST among us with a time of 2:30:05!!!! Now that is an extremely impressive accomplishment and time, but just think if he would have taken off that battery powered rear bike light before the race—the weight saved that he wouldn’t have had to carry for 28 miles surely would have allowed him to shave off 6 seconds and finish in a sub 2:30:00 time!!! But it gets worse!!! In a really technical, bumpy, tight section of single track in the woods Mike got a little out of control bouncing off the trail but not quite crashing as he hugged a tree when he heard a rider behind him yell that his light fell off his bike hit the ground and broke into pieces. Mike STOPPED, turned around, went back, forcing everyone off the trail, to get that light that cost less than $10 and was busted to boot!!! I would like to say that it was because he is even tighter with his money than I am but he says it was for two reasons other than the money. One—he was worried that another rider would ride over those two AA batteries and they would roll causing that rider to lose control and crash and then Mike would have felt bad—like those two AA batteries would really be that much of a danger given the trail we were riding on!! Two—the batteries are hazardous waste and being the ecological minded guy he is Mike really had to turn back and get them so he could carry them out and dispose of them properly!! So, all the time spent doing that REALLY cost him far more than 6 seconds!!!!! Just so you know, Mike was 52 out of 94 riders in his age group and their midrange time was 2:28:47. To be fair though, in Mike’s age group they lump the Beginner, Sport and Expert men altogether. I guess they figure guys of his advanced age are either experienced riders who could stay ahead of the younger Sport men starting behind his group, or crazy.
Joe “Lojack” Rosenhauer, riding steadily (that was his race plan) the entire race finished SECOND in 2:32:07 shaving 9:34 off his third place time from the 2007 Iceman. Joe was 21 out of 84 riders in his age group and their midrange time was 2:44:28, in 2007 Joe was 21 out of 79 riders and their midrange time was 2:57:10.
Dan “Krash” Kiplinger made it up every hill this year, didn’t crash at all, but I did get my handlebars wedged in between two trees in the really technical, bumpy, tight section of single track in the woods that Mike lost his bike light in, and finished THIRD in 2:33:08 shaving 24:02 off my fourth place time from the 2007 Iceman. I was 23 out of 84 riders in my age group and their midrange time was 2:44:28, in 2007 I was 40 out of 79 riders and their midrange time was 2:57:10.
Craig “Chief” Drozd, riding with dead legs and sapped strength due to riding overheated, disappointed because he had peaked during our training rides two weeks PRIOR to the Iceman finished FOURTH in 2:44:35 which was 4:27 over his first place time from the 2007 Iceman. Craig was 43 out of 84 riders in his age group and their midrange time was 2:44:28, in 2007 Craig was 18 out of 79 riders and their midrange time was 2:57:10.
Alex “Race Boy” Zawinsky broke his chain and since he was NOT carrying any tools, spare chain links, patch kit, spare inner tube or pump—riding NAKID as Dennis “Chicago” Kennedy would say in order to save weight and go faster—cut off part of the 28 miles (we don’t know how many miles he cut off) by hoofing it through the woods carrying his bike. He knocked three riders off their bikes trying to find anyone who had spare chain parts in the tool bag under their bike seats finally scaring an old man into giving up his spare chain parts and tool and even made the old man fix the chain so Alex didn’t get his hands dirty. Alex finished in FIFTH place in 2:49:43 but remember it could have been 5 minutes worse if I hadn’t helped him get started on time, which would have meant finishing behind Doug!! We were thinking that he should have been DNF’ed (Did Not Finish) for cutting off part of the trail but you have to admire a guy hoofing it through the woods carrying his bike so we are going to let his results stand. Almost as impressive as the one guy Craig saw last year running to the finish line carrying a TANDEM with a crushed front wheel—we assume the other rider was injured and couldn’t even make it to the finish line! Alex was 74 out of 83 riders in his age group and their midrange time was 2:15:56.
Doug “Rhino” Jones, who was very happy that he was even able to ride considering his injuries and lack of training this year, finished SIXTH in 2:53:35 shaving 13:15 off his fifth place time from the 2007 Iceman. Doug was 33 out of 49 riders in his age group and their midrange time was 2:40:21, in 2007 Doug was 39 out of 52 riders and their midrange time was 2:44:23.
Bill “Billy Goat” Carol, riding Doug’s Giant full suspension bike that Doug rode in last year’s Iceman, determined that the rear shock was broken and simply “bobbed” up and down on every pedal stroke robbing power and defeating forward motion causing Bill to finish SEVENTH in 2:57:05 which was 15:46 over his second place time from the 2007 Iceman. Bill swears that because his 2008 finishing time on Doug’s “broken” bike was still better than Doug’s 2007 finishing time on the “broken” bike technically he still “improved” on last year’s race. Any time you are riding on a broken bike, or with injuries and you still finish it is quite an accomplishment. I am willing to bet that from now on though Bill is going to bring his own bike, what do you think? Bill was 37 out of 49 riders in his age group and their midrange time was 2:40:21, in 2007 Bill was 23 out of 52 riders and their midrange time was 2:44:23.
After the Race:
Joe, Craig, Mike and I were the first to arrive at the restaurant for the post ride dinner and while we were waiting in the truck in the parking lot for Doug, Bill, Alex and his family we enjoyed the post ride beer I had brought to celebrate with, and it wasn’t cheap stuff either! Alex called to say that as much as he and his wife (also a former bike racer) would like to join us they had two sick kids and felt it would be best if they went straight home. Then Doug and Bill cancelled on us as well, but I convinced them to at least stop by and pick up their beers. So, we cancelled one of the tables we reserved but we had a great dinner anyway.
On the ride home Mike left a VME for his wife Linda, who was out shopping with their daughter, that went something like this “I’m calling from the ambulance, or the emergency room, but I’ll be okay, and I finished the race.” Linda called back immediately and Mike said that he did okay, he met his goals, and that the rest of us did well and had a good time. He did OKAY, he MET his goals??? It took a lot of prodding to finally get Mike to admit that he was ecstatic and that he had a great time, but he was worried that we might be disappointed that he finished ahead of us. Heck, we were happy for him, he did great, if anything he was just going to have a tough time defending his title next year by giving us something to shoot for.
On Sunday when I went into the garage I noticed that my rear bike tire was completely flat, again, but at least it waited until after the race—I get a lot of flats for some reason. However, I put the bike on the bike storage rack, still with the flat tire and all of the dirt from the race because it was time to get ready for deer hunting season so the bike will have to wait until Spring and the 2009 Mountain Biking Season to get cleaned up and fixed up!
Honorable mention:
While Mike “The Invisible Man” Luibrand did not ride with us this year, he did ride in the Massive Fall Out Ride and in the Iceman, even in the same wave/group/age/skill class as Joe, Craig and I, and did finish the race in 3:25:38 meeting all or most of his goals as well. Way to go Mike! Mike was 77 out of 84 riders in his age group and their midrange time was 2:44:28.
2009 musings:
I bet you can hardly wait for the 2009 Mountain Bike season now can you?
Oh, and if this Ride Report doesn’t convince you to sign up for the 2009 Iceman Cometh Race, I don’t know what will. Sign up starts this Friday.
Sincerely, Sincerely,
Dan “Krash” Kiplinger
“Embedded” in-the-field Correspondent and Editor-in-chief for the “Official Mountain Bike Ride Report”.
