The Iceman Cometh 28 mile mountain bike race, Saturday, November 8, 2008.

Yes I know this Ride Report is not very timely (really posted on 2/22/2009). Yes I have a lot of excuses but that is all they are excuses. There is no good reason for taking this long to write this ride report, other than to give you something to read and smile about in the dead of winter while you are waiting for us to start the 2009 Mountain Biking season. And yeah, its long, but hopefully it is worth reading!

Before the Race:

Doug “Rhino” Jones really wanted to get a last minute training ride in on his upgraded trusty Barracuda hard tail bike prior to the race so I agreed to lead a training ride with just him after work on the gravel roads around my house. When Doug showed up I wondered why he was hustling his bike up the driveway and parking it on the other side of my car and while I noticed it was a different color than I remembered I assumed it was due to the new front shock/fork. Then I noticed that the bike had disc brakes, which his trusty Barracuda did not, and I immediately knew that Doug was going to be the “stealth” bike rider this year!!! Doug had gone all out this year and bought a brand spanking new 29’er hard tail mountain bike. That means that his bike has bigger 29 inch wheels rather than the normal 26 inch wheels, and they are supposed to roll better, faster, more efficiently and give Doug a UNFAIR ADVANTAGE over the rest of us. Of course that is the whole idea behind riding a “stealth“ bike now isn’t it!!!

We had to get my bike lights out because we were getting a later start than we expected due to the delay checking out the new “stealth” bike, that and Doug wanted to put in a 20 mile ride. We took off and Doug had to stop a couple of times to make minor adjustments to his new bike but once he got it dialed in he left me in dust!!!! However, that was on the flats, on the hills I was able to pass him because he simply wasn’t able to put in enough training rides to be able to attack the hills this year due to his injury. To summarize, Doug’s “stealth” bike is very high end and I agreed to keep it a secret from everyone by simply telling everyone that he was much faster on a hard tail than he was on his full suspension Giant, which was a true statement since his new 29’er was a hard tail and everyone assumed that I was talking about his old Barracuda hard tail. That way he could pull the “stealth” bike trick on his fellow riders at the race like I did last year!

On the way to the Race:

Joe “Lojack” Rosenhauer, Dan “Krash” Kiplinger, Craig “Chief” Drozd, and Mike “I Love My Bike” Kurpinski carpooled up to Traverse City in Joe’s truck. Doug “Rhino” Jones was picking Bill “Billy Goat” Carol at the airport since Bill lives in Atlanta and driving up separately--that way Doug could keep his “stealth” bike secretly stowed in the back of his Jeep, just like I did in Joe’s Durango when he and I drove up last year! Alex “Race Boy” Zawinsky was driving up separately with his wife and kids.

We all met up at the registration location, registered, bought some biking items, left to check into the hotel and then headed to Ruby Tuesday’s for our pre-race dinner, well everyone except Alex as he was running way behind schedule. I learned to not accept the “helpful” suggestions my fellow riders gave me last year when they “encouraged” me to eat a large “healthy” salad for my pre-race meal instead of loading up on carbs and protein. Joe’s wife Sue “MUM” (Marathoner, Ultra Marathoner) Rosenhauer admonished me for listening to them and set me straight since she is a diet expert. So this year it was chicken and pasta for me and I was hoping that it would help my performance and endurance on race day! Dinner was very good, the company and banter (nay—trash talking, warnings, excuses, hints and tips) was even better!!

The RACE:

When we got up Saturday morning the weather wasn’t looking too good; cold, windy, with rain, freezing rain and snow in the forecast. We had breakfast as the excitement, anticipation and trepidation were building. Mike was getting nervous since it was his first race and he was going to be starting before everyone else because his age/experience/class group was starting at 9:40 AM, long before the rest of us. So Joe, Craig, Mike and I loaded up in the rain to head for the starting line. Doug and Bill laughed at us from the warm dry hotel doorway because they were going leave later in order to stay warm and dry for a competitive advantage over us as we got cold, stiff, miserable and wet while we waited for our start time well after Mike would be starting!!!

Once we got to the parking lot we started preparing the bikes by putting the front wheels back on, re-positioning seat heights, putting placards with our race numbers on our bikes, and ourselves, stocking up on drinks, goo packs, energy bars and layering on the clothes. By this time Mike was so nervous about the race and missing his starting time that he ignored Craig’s suggestion to lighten his bike by taking off his rear battery powered flashing light and rode off to find the starting line. Really, it was pretty amazing that Mike was still going to ride given all the “advice”, “hints”, “tips” and “warnings” he had heard on the ride up, and at dinner, and the ride to the starting line. You know, things like the many 100 yard long 20 feet deep sand pits, rock strewn hills, treacherous single tracks through the woods, giant up and down hills, the distance, the weather, the mud bogs and logs on the ride around or potentially through the lake, and to remember that he didn’t have to outrun any bears—he only had to outrun at least one other rider as the bear would get that rider instead of him!!! Anything to prepare him for the experience that is the Iceman, I mean after all, what are friends for! We got Mike to the starting line and he took off as we warned him about the first sand pit that was less than a 100 yards into the race that several people had already wiped out in.

Then we started looking for Alex “Race Boy” Zawinsky as he was starting at 10:10 AM, which was still long before we would be starting. We finally found him, he was arriving late, still making final adjustments to his riding gear and bike and so rattled that he lined up in the group that was starting after him!!! I finally got his attention and helped part the sea of bicycles so he could at least move up to the back of his starting group but that alone saved him 5 minutes as the groups start in 5 minute intervals. So, “Race Boy” owes me big time!!!

Then Joe, Craig and I went back to the parking lot to find Doug and Bill who, because they came so late were able to find a much closer parking spot and were already unloaded. Craig was busy admiring the brand spanking new 29’er assuming that Bill “Billy Goat” Carol had scored another sweet “loaner” bike like he did last year. Then Craig got suspicious when he couldn’t find Doug’s trusty old Barracuda and Doug and I couldn’t contain our laughter anymore and revealed that the 29’er was actually Doug’s “stealth” bike and that Bill was riding Doug’s full suspension Giant. Bill has an identical bike back in Atlanta so he would be comfortable riding Doug’s in the race. Bike envy set in big time for the “Chief” as Joe bought a new bike two years ago, I bought a new bike last year, and Doug bought a new bike this year!! Is there a new bike in Craig’s future for the 2009 Iceman? Only time, and Barb—his wife, will tell. I am willing to help Craig out by suggesting a nice expensive new tandem knowing that I can convince Barb that if she tells Craig to buy a new bike for himself then they can’t afford to get the tandem too—that way she doesn’t have to ride!!!

Joe and Craig piled back into Joe’s truck to stay warm and eat some snacks while I walked around the parking lot with my long winter bike pants down around my ankles as I tried to gauge whether I wanted to wear them during the race or not. I waved to Mike Luibrand in the parking lot but he ignored me because he didn’t want to be associated with the nut shuffling around the parking lot with his pants down and a long sleeve jersey half on one side and a vest half on the other side. Craig got out the truck to take pictures and he put ON a long sleeved jacket as I proclaimed that I was taking off my long pants and jersey and going in shorts, a light long sleeved shirt and vest—rain, sleet and snow be damned!!

We headed over to the start line so that Doug and Bill could start, since they were starting at 11:05 AM in the group directly in front of us. Then Joe, Craig and I got into our group and off we went at 11:10 AM. Craig bolted out to the lead and I lost track of him. I kept Joe in my sights as I tried not to hyperventilate like I did at the start of the race last year, controlling my breathing, talking to myself, and avoiding the people who crash early as that also slowed me up last year. Eventually I decided to pick off the six riders between me and Joe one by one until I announced to Joe that I was right behind him, feeling good. He said Craig was long gone. We into some traffic going up a hill and I passed on the right while Joe went to the left but he didn’t see me and didn’t know I was now in front of him!! I decided that I was feeling good and the rain, sleet, hail and snow that we were riding through was keeping me from overheating so I sped up. I caught up to Craig just as we went into a section of single track through the woods. I yelled up to Craig that I was right behind him and then I heard Joe yell that he was right behind me!!! As we left the single track Craig told me it was my turn to take the lead and break the wind so he could draft for awhile, so I did, right up to the midway point of the next mountain when Joe passed me. Craig yelled up and told me to keep up with Joe because he was overheating and had to stop to strip down. See, he put on that jacket at the last minute and it cost him, just like it cost me last year, because once you overheat, you can’t cool down and it just saps you for the rest of the ride. I chased Joe down and took the lead again and then I saw Doug “Rhino” Jones up ahead and tried to catch him. Unfortunately I started to overheat so I told Joe to catch Doug while I stopped to strip down some more. Fortunately I stopped before I really overheated because I didn’t over dress like last year so I was able to catch Doug a short time later. I told him he looked much better, more comfortable on a hard tail than the full suspension he rode last year. He was happy because wasn’t able to ride in the Chequamegon Fat Tire 40 in September but he was riding in the Iceman and feeling better than he did in last year’s race. Shortly after passing Doug I lost sight of Joe so I resorted to telling myself that any rider I saw in front of me was Joe, until I caught and passed the rider and was sure it wasn’t Joe, and I repeated that for the next rider, and the next rider, all the way to the end of the race! I never did catch Joe though, darn it.

Now for the most important details, what everyone’s times were and how they did. Read the Buildup to the Iceman, written on November 3^rd, to see what the pre-race predictions were!

Mike “I Love My Bike” Kurpinski, riding in his very first mountain bike race, all alone in the front of “our guys” since his wave started at 9:40 AM, crashing at least 8+ times usually in a sand pit due to someone else crashing in front of him or cutting him off (so he says—since we obviously didn’t see him) but riding like a maniac because he was immensely afraid of being passed by Alex “Race Boy” Zawinsky who was starting “only” 30 minutes behind him, finished FIRST, yes that is NOT a misprint, finished FIRST among us with a time of 2:30:05!!!! Now that is an extremely impressive accomplishment and time, but just think if he would have taken off that battery powered rear bike light before the race—the weight saved that he wouldn’t have had to carry for 28 miles surely would have allowed him to shave off 6 seconds and finish in a sub 2:30:00 time!!! But it gets worse!!! In a really technical, bumpy, tight section of single track in the woods Mike got a little out of control bouncing off the trail but not quite crashing as he hugged a tree when he heard a rider behind him yell that his light fell off his bike hit the ground and broke into pieces. Mike STOPPED, turned around, went back, forcing everyone off the trail, to get that light that cost less than $10 and was busted to boot!!! I would like to say that it was because he is even tighter with his money than I am but he says it was for two reasons other than the money. One—he was worried that another rider would ride over those two AA batteries and they would roll causing that rider to lose control and crash and then Mike would have felt bad—like those two AA batteries would really be that much of a danger given the trail we were riding on!! Two—the batteries are hazardous waste and being the ecological minded guy he is Mike really had to turn back and get them so he could carry them out and dispose of them properly!! So, all the time spent doing that REALLY cost him far more than 6 seconds!!!!! Just so you know, Mike was 52 out of 94 riders in his age group and their midrange time was 2:28:47. To be fair though, in Mike’s age group they lump the Beginner, Sport and Expert men altogether. I guess they figure guys of his advanced age are either experienced riders who could stay ahead of the younger Sport men starting behind his group, or crazy.

Joe “Lojack” Rosenhauer, riding steadily (that was his race plan) the entire race finished SECOND in 2:32:07 shaving 9:34 off his third place time from the 2007 Iceman. Joe was 21 out of 84 riders in his age group and their midrange time was 2:44:28, in 2007 Joe was 21 out of 79 riders and their midrange time was 2:57:10.

Dan “Krash” Kiplinger made it up every hill this year, didn’t crash at all, but I did get my handlebars wedged in between two trees in the really technical, bumpy, tight section of single track in the woods that Mike lost his bike light in, and finished THIRD in 2:33:08 shaving 24:02 off my fourth place time from the 2007 Iceman. I was 23 out of 84 riders in my age group and their midrange time was 2:44:28, in 2007 I was 40 out of 79 riders and their midrange time was 2:57:10.

Craig “Chief” Drozd, riding with dead legs and sapped strength due to riding overheated, disappointed because he had peaked during our training rides two weeks PRIOR to the Iceman finished FOURTH in 2:44:35 which was 4:27 over his first place time from the 2007 Iceman. Craig was 43 out of 84 riders in his age group and their midrange time was 2:44:28, in 2007 Craig was 18 out of 79 riders and their midrange time was 2:57:10.

Alex “Race Boy” Zawinsky broke his chain and since he was NOT carrying any tools, spare chain links, patch kit, spare inner tube or pump—riding NAKID as Dennis “Chicago” Kennedy would say in order to save weight and go faster—cut off part of the 28 miles (we don’t know how many miles he cut off) by hoofing it through the woods carrying his bike. He knocked three riders off their bikes trying to find anyone who had spare chain parts in the tool bag under their bike seats finally scaring an old man into giving up his spare chain parts and tool and even made the old man fix the chain so Alex didn’t get his hands dirty. Alex finished in FIFTH place in 2:49:43 but remember it could have been 5 minutes worse if I hadn’t helped him get started on time, which would have meant finishing behind Doug!! We were thinking that he should have been DNF’ed (Did Not Finish) for cutting off part of the trail but you have to admire a guy hoofing it through the woods carrying his bike so we are going to let his results stand. Almost as impressive as the one guy Craig saw last year running to the finish line carrying a TANDEM with a crushed front wheel—we assume the other rider was injured and couldn’t even make it to the finish line! Alex was 74 out of 83 riders in his age group and their midrange time was 2:15:56.

Doug “Rhino” Jones, who was very happy that he was even able to ride considering his injuries and lack of training this year, finished SIXTH in 2:53:35 shaving 13:15 off his fifth place time from the 2007 Iceman. Doug was 33 out of 49 riders in his age group and their midrange time was 2:40:21, in 2007 Doug was 39 out of 52 riders and their midrange time was 2:44:23.

Bill “Billy Goat” Carol, riding Doug’s Giant full suspension bike that Doug rode in last year’s Iceman, determined that the rear shock was broken and simply “bobbed” up and down on every pedal stroke robbing power and defeating forward motion causing Bill to finish SEVENTH in 2:57:05 which was 15:46 over his second place time from the 2007 Iceman. Bill swears that because his 2008 finishing time on Doug’s “broken” bike was still better than Doug’s 2007 finishing time on the “broken” bike technically he still “improved” on last year’s race. Any time you are riding on a broken bike, or with injuries and you still finish it is quite an accomplishment. I am willing to bet that from now on though Bill is going to bring his own bike, what do you think? Bill was 37 out of 49 riders in his age group and their midrange time was 2:40:21, in 2007 Bill was 23 out of 52 riders and their midrange time was 2:44:23.

After the Race:

Joe, Craig, Mike and I were the first to arrive at the restaurant for the post ride dinner and while we were waiting in the truck in the parking lot for Doug, Bill, Alex and his family we enjoyed the post ride beer I had brought to celebrate with, and it wasn’t cheap stuff either! Alex called to say that as much as he and his wife (also a former bike racer) would like to join us they had two sick kids and felt it would be best if they went straight home. Then Doug and Bill cancelled on us as well, but I convinced them to at least stop by and pick up their beers. So, we cancelled one of the tables we reserved but we had a great dinner anyway.

On the ride home Mike left a VME for his wife Linda, who was out shopping with their daughter, that went something like this “I’m calling from the ambulance, or the emergency room, but I’ll be okay, and I finished the race.” Linda called back immediately and Mike said that he did okay, he met his goals, and that the rest of us did well and had a good time. He did OKAY, he MET his goals??? It took a lot of prodding to finally get Mike to admit that he was ecstatic and that he had a great time, but he was worried that we might be disappointed that he finished ahead of us. Heck, we were happy for him, he did great, if anything he was just going to have a tough time defending his title next year by giving us something to shoot for.

On Sunday when I went into the garage I noticed that my rear bike tire was completely flat, again, but at least it waited until after the race—I get a lot of flats for some reason. However, I put the bike on the bike storage rack, still with the flat tire and all of the dirt from the race because it was time to get ready for deer hunting season so the bike will have to wait until Spring and the 2009 Mountain Biking Season to get cleaned up and fixed up!

Honorable mention:

While Mike “The Invisible Man” Luibrand did not ride with us this year, he did ride in the Massive Fall Out Ride and in the Iceman, even in the same wave/group/age/skill class as Joe, Craig and I, and did finish the race in 3:25:38 meeting all or most of his goals as well. Way to go Mike! Mike was 77 out of 84 riders in his age group and their midrange time was 2:44:28.

2009 musings:

I bet you can hardly wait for the 2009 Mountain Bike season now can you?

Oh, and if this Ride Report doesn’t convince you to sign up for the 2009 Iceman Cometh Race, I don’t know what will. Sign up starts this Friday.

Sincerely, Sincerely,

Dan “Krash” Kiplinger

“Embedded” in-the-field Correspondent and Editor-in-chief for the “Official Mountain Bike Ride Report”.

The "build up" to the Iceman 28 mile mountain bike race

The excitement, anticipation and trepidation are building as we, Joe Rosenhauer, Craig Drozd and I rode our last training ride this past weekend! Mike Kurpinski and Doug Jones were out of town and Alex Zawinsky had alarm clock problems, so they didn’t ride with us, but hopefully they were able to ride on their own. Bill Carroll is always out of town, but that is another story.

Joe a.k.a. “The Rocket”, “Lojack” or “Big Ring” Rosenhauer is currently the favorite to finish first given his first place finish at this year’s Chequamegon Fat Tire 40 race and the blistering pace he has put on during this year’s training rides!!!!

Craig a.k.a. “Chief” Drozd can’t be ruled out to finish first given his heavy training schedule, vast racing experience and many years of good finishes at both the Iceman (first last year) and Chequamegon Fat Tire races (second this year)!!!

Mike a.k.a. “I Love My Bike”, “Retired and Loving It” Kurpinski is a dark horse to be reckoned with given his competitive nature and he kept up with Joe and Craig during one of our 26 mile training rides, that and we think he has been training with Lance Armstrong for Lance’s return to professional racing! ! Given that this is Mike’s first time riding the Iceman it is questionable whether he can overtake Joe and Craig though.

Bill a.k.a. “Billy Goat” Carroll is right in the middle of the mix given his youth, previous racing experiences and last year’s second place finish in the Iceman. Because Bill is located in Atlanta Georgia we really have no idea how the rest of us stack up against him since he isn’t training with us, so he is a little bit unknown but will give Joe, Craig and Mike a run for their money!

Doug a.k.a. “Rhino” Jones has had a rough year this year with a pinched nerve in his neck that has him basically riding with only one good eye and one good arm and only occasionally at that. I say one eye because he can only raise his head up so far and so often which limits his ability to see the trail ahead and anticipate the terrain and one arm because he has no strength and feeling in one arm!!! That forced Doug out of the Chequamegon Fat Tire 40 this year but he is a gamer and will be riding in the Iceman anyway!! Doug is riding his upgraded trusty Barracuda hard tail bike which I firmly believe will cut 5 to 15 minutes off his time from last year’s Iceman when he rode his Giant full suspension bike and could well be enough to offset his medical problem and lack of training and bump me, Dan “Krash” Kiplinger into last place!

Dennis a.k.a. “Chicago”, “Chicago Squared” Kennedy bowed out of the Iceman for the second year in a row. Dennis’ presence will be sorely missed yet again this year as he was one of the most feared “corner” racers around as he was unafraid to mix it up with elbows and the occasional “nudge” to another rider in order to bump them off the trail into the bushes going into hard corners!!

Alex “Race Boy” Zawinsky is a new rider to the group this year and is only riding due to Dennis “Chicago Squared” Kennedy making a huge personal sacrifice to transfer his registration to Alex “Race Boy” Zawinsky who didn’t quite fill out his application correctly and therefore missed getting selected for the race with the rest of us. Alex is a former racer, younger than the rest of us and has been secretly training by pulling a bike trailer with his two kids in it, so he is definitely a threat to win all if he has the stamina to finish and doesn’t crash while trying to keep up a 14 MPH pace!!!

I, Dan “Krash” Kiplinger, will simply be trying to reduce my time from last year and hope that I can finish without crashing and injuring myself (I’d really like to stay married to my wonderful wife, Maureen, and to do that I need to not crash, again). Based on the training rides this year I simply don’t seem to have the horsepower to keep up with my fellow riders, but that is okay, any finish is a good finish and they only get better with (reduced) time. That is a “take off” from my Air Force fighter pilot Dad who says that “any landing you can walk any from is a good landing, some are just better than others”.

And finally, we have an “outsider”, you know, the guy who has never ridden with any of us, doesn’t share any information about his experience, his times, heck not even his bike specifications, the guy who swoops in at the last second and outbids you on eBay, the guy who steals the “bait, food, gold, reward, girl” while everyone else is concentrating on each other and don’t even know he is there, the guy who is many times a “geek” (given that this guy is a former UNIX system administrator and runs the model office and certification lab-he fits that stereotype), the guy WHO—COULD—GO—ALL--THE—WAY, Mike “The Invisible Man” Luibrand. Mike is a complete unknown and, if he isn’t lying and this is in fact his first race, is the guy who could come from out of nowhere and becomes the MVP while winning it all and shocks the rest of us die hard riders!!!

The preliminary weather forecast for the race from Kalkaska to Traverse City is for a 50-60% chance of rain or snow and temperatures only reaching the low forties which means it might be in the thirties at the beginning of the race!!!

I bet you can hardly wait for the Official Mountain Bike Ride Report to come out after the Iceman 28 Mile Mountain Bike Race, now can you?

Sincerely,

Dan “Krash” Kiplinger

“Embedded” in-the-field Correspondent and Editor-in-chief for the “Official Mountain Bike Ride Report”.

Chequamegon Fat Tire Festival 40 mile mountain bike

I dropped my bike off at Joe “Lojack” Rosenhauer’s house Wednesday night and secured it and Joe’s bike to his homemade bike rack inside the cap of his pickup truck. Then we “installed” Doug “Rhino” Jones’ homemade bike rack at the rear of the pickup bed so that we could secure Doug’s and Craig “Chief” Drozd’s bikes on Thursday morning.

I arrived at Joe’s before 5 AM Thursday and stowed my clothes and bike bag with Joe’s in the pickup bed. Craig “Chief” Drozd showed up a few minutes later and we secured his bike and stowed his stuff as well, then we went into Joe’s house to wait for Doug “Rhino” Jones. At 5:15 AM I called Doug and asked him where he was. He said he was putting his stuff in the pickup bed of Joe’s truck and was wondering where the heck we were!!! Sneaky guy, we hadn’t heard or seen him pull into the driveway! When we met him in the driveway he didn’t look too good. He was moving stiffly and had a neck brace on!! He told us that since modern medicine had failed to heal his pinched nerve, which was causing him great pain in his neck and right arm and hand, he had decided to go to a chiropractor on Wednesday as a last ditch effort to be able to ride on Saturday. He heard bad news “Boy are you screwed up”, good news “We can fix you”, bad news “It will take awhile”, really bad news “No you can’t ride your mountain bike, or play golf, anytime soon”. So like the Six Million Dollar Man, he can be fixed, just not in time to ride in the Chequamegon Fat Tire Festival 40 mile mountain bike race on Saturday. He is definitely not riding because he didn’t bring his bike, however he is going to take photos and drive Joe's truck to drop us off and pick us up and provide plenty of support and helpful advice (at least Joe and I think it is helpful but the way he and Craig grin sometimes we don’t know if he/they are being truthful or are pulling our legs). It took us just under 12 hours to drive to Hayward Wisconsin, and by us I mean it was Joe and Doug who did the driving while Craig and I sat in the back seat. Craig and I, being taller than Joe and Doug, figured it would be in our best interest to drive home so we have more leg room after the race! We had lunch at the Dogpatch diner somewhere in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. It started raining about the time we got to Wisconsin but we hoped it would clear out by Saturday so we wouldn't be riding in the rain. We had dinner at the original Famous Dave's, a rib place in Hayward Wisconsin that is a pre-race ritual for Craig and Doug, and it was excellent.

Friday morning it quit raining so we went out for a hearty breakfast at Perkins and then we went for a “warm up” ride to loosen up our legs and so Joe and I could get a firsthand look at the race course. Joe and I were thinking about 5-6 miles would be good but we ended up going almost 12 miles. It was actually a blessing in disguise as I determined that I needed to make some adjustments to my shifters and seat and Joe and I were able to put our familiarity of the first quarter of the race course to good use and avoid several nasty crashes that occurred in that section during the actual race the following day!!! Then we went site seeing. We stopped at a bike store where the Specialized bike company was having factory demo rides. Craig listened very intently to a factory rep tell all about a hot new bike coming out in the fall, all the cool features, carbon fiber super light weight, etc, right up to the point where he revealed the suggested retail price of $8,800, then he walked away!!! Doug was kind enough to let me buy the last “goo” bottle since he wasn’t riding and it was in my price range of $3. It was a miniature five ounce water bottle that you put your “goo” packs (energy gel) into to make it easier to eat them instead of trying to open a foil pouch and squeeze it into your mouth while riding. I know that if I were to try to open a foil pouch and squeeze the contents into my mouth while I was riding it would certainly be followed by dirt, rocks, grass or trees when I crashed!!! However, since I haven’t practiced using a water bottle (I use a hydration backpack that has a bladder with a long hose to make it easy for me to drink and still keep both hands on the handlebar) I could still manage to crash while getting the “goo” bottle and putting it back, so I knew I would have to be careful. Craig had been looking at a really nice Cannondale tandem mountain bike so he could take his wife riding but I talked him into getting a nice set of replaceable lens sunglasses instead, saving him a lot of money—and his marriage!!! Then at a different store, both Joe and Doug couldn’t resist buying their own “goo” bottles with a Velcro “holster” so they could mount it in easy reach instead of putting it in a rear shirt pocket like I was going to have to do. Of course theirs were four times as expensive as mine and were therefore out of my price range!

We went to the ski lodge to pick up our registration packages and it was quite a sight, vehicles everywhere with bikes attached to them, even a motorcycle with a bike mounted slightly behind but parallel to the rider!!! We saw short people, tall people, skinny people, fat people, young people, old people, and all kinds of people but most importantly, bike people!!! Doug found a pair of those replaceable lens sunglasses like Craig’s, but in the color that Doug wanted and so he bought them as well. Then we went to Coop’s for our pre-race meal, evidently another one of those rituals like Famous Dave’s that Craig and Doug have since they have done this race multiple times before.

Saturday morning we had instant oatmeal in our rooms, another ritual, and stocked up on “goo” and energy bars and I struggled to empty my frozen Gatorades into my hydration pack bladder but boy was it worth it to have 70 ounces of cold drink on the ride!!! Doug drove Joe and me to the start line in town but Craig opted to ride his bike there as a warm up ride. Incredibly there were literally hundreds and hundreds of bikes upside down lining the street (holding their places in the line) which made for an odd sight to see all of those wheels wrong side up!!! We went to the rear of the line and hooked up with Craig who was in front of about 50 riders but by the time an hour passed and it was almost time to start the race there a lot more people behind us even because there were over 1700 riders lined up behind the start line!!! Doug warned us to be very careful at the start because everyone would surge forward and stop several times and it would be easy to get involved in a needless crash, that and to watch out for the cement landscape planter in the middle road!! Since the entire road is closed for the bikers evidently people crash trying to avoid the planter when the stream of bikers try to pass to either side of it and crowd the rest of the riders up on the curbs!! Sure enough after the gun sounded we had two surges before we really got going and sure enough two guys did crash in front of me, getting a handlebar stuck in the wheel spokes and caused me to get separated from Craig and Joe. During the 3 miles of paved road riding I caught up to Joe and we passed two more crashes, one of them was a tandem and one of the riders looked to have been injured badly (after the race we were told that there was also a big high speed crash at the front of the race and I saw one picture of a guy that had ripped half his shorts off along with all the skin!) so Joe and I were keeping our distance from everyone to stay safe. When we left the paved road and “dropped in” (through the ditch, down a hill, and then up a hill) to “Rosie’s” field, which was a really hilly really large hay field that had been cut down to about six inches, the speed dropped dramatically as the rolling resistance increased due to the prickly hay stalks, and sure enough there were a number of people fixing flat tires already. Due to our pre-ride on Friday, Craig, Joe and I knew that there was an invisible ditch at the bottom of a big hill on the other side of Rosie’s field before we entered the cross country ski trails. Remember that familiarity I talked about earlier? Wow did it come in handy. We were riding all out at over 20 miles an hour when we hit that ditch at the bottom of the hill but the guy three bikes to my left didn’t see it or didn’t know it was there and he looked like those western movies where the rider gets thrown at a full gallop as his horse is shot out from under him. His bike went to the right (I avoided it) and he pin wheeled into the ground as hundreds of riders behind him yelled “Rider Down” in order to alert everyone so as to try not to crash into him themselves. It was a spectacular crash!!! There wasn’t anything anyone could do to try to stop and help him as that would cause even more crashes, besides, there were paramedics in the field that would probably get to him pretty quickly.

I caught up to Joe after a couple of hills and then I passed him but I was pretty sure that Craig was in the lead. Then Joe caught up to me after couple of more hills and then passed me and I never saw him or Craig again during the rest of 32 or so miles left!!! Joe and I were wearing walkie talkies so we could tell Doug when we were coming up on the second food/aid station 16 miles into the race so he could take action photos of us. Craig didn’t want to carry the extra weight because he thought it would slow him down, that and he was planning on listening to inspirational music on his MP3 Player (he told us after the race that it quit working at the start of the race, bummer!)!! The walkie talkies have a range of about two miles and I started calling Doug about two miles before the food/aid station but didn’t hear him and didn’t hear Joe so I figured the range was limited in the woods, that or I wasn’t anywhere near either of them! When Doug finally answered I was less than a mile away he told me that Joe was only three minutes ahead of me but that he had “lost” his walkie talkie on a big bumpy downhill when it flew off of his hydration pack. “Lost”? I think he tossed it aside to save the weight to try to catch Craig!!! A hundred dollar walkie talkie!!! Okay, I’m stretching it there, it was about $25 years ago and you can probably get them for $10 dollars now but at this point I am the only one carrying “all” that extra weight!!! What Joe and I didn’t know at the time was that Craig was actually behind us at that point of the race because just a few minutes after I went past Doug, he saw Craig coming up the hill!!! When Doug told Craig that both Joe and I were ahead of him, well I can’t print his answer but Doug thought it was pretty funny!!

Man, we went up and down (more ups than downs—go figure) on cross country ski hills, part of the famous American Birkebiener Ski Trail, and logging roads, and two tracks, and sand pits, and one lane roads, and lots and lots of slippery grass, mud and mud puddles and it started raining about half way into the race. I got to a flat section of a rutted gravel road just as a emergency vehicle caught me from behind and I spotted a guy lying on the side of the road with no shirt on holding his right arm. As the paramedics got out they asked him how he was and he said he felt fine but that he thought he broke his arm or collar bone. Felt fine? Why? Because he knew he wasn’t going to have to ride another 20 miles to the finish!!! Later on in the race a guy went to my left to pass me on a big dry spot as I rode through the center of a mud puddle but I guess he wasn’t paying attention while he was trying to get a “goo” pack from his rear shirt pocket and didn’t see the big rock he was about to hit. You know those football highlights where the receiver jumps in the air, makes the catch but gets hits and spins around in a circle while parallel to ground and then hits hard? Picture that as his bike careened to the right (I avoided it again!) and he spun off into the trees on the left!!! I sneaked a look back and saw him climbing back out of the woods to retrieve his bike, so see, it is dangerous trying to refuel while riding!!!

Then, with about 12 miles to go I went on “Fire Tower Hill”, an old rutted, one lane Jeep trail up over 220 feet on several climbs through the woods to the top of a “hill” that used to be a forest fire lookout station. I didn’t even hesitate after I saw the guy in front of me run out of steam go sideways and fall over and then flip over in a big crash, I dismounted and walked up the steep parts. I remounted and rode each of the five (I think) flat sections but dismounted for every steep section and walked. I’m not too proud to admit that after my last big crash I learned my lesson, better to walk and not crash so you can ride again rather than crash and have to walk the rest of the way!!!! I ran out of Gatorade in my hydration pack on the way up the hill so I stopped at the top and had a volunteer add a bottle of water to my hydration pack so I didn’t have to take it off. I had been getting about three cups of water at each food/aid station but I had been dumping them through the vents in my helmet to cool me down, otherwise I might have had enough liquid in the bladder to make it to the finish.

There was a series of down hills after the “Fire Tower Hill” where a couple on a tandem almost ran me into the woods during a sharp turn when they cut inside of me, then it was back into the Birkebeiners and finally a climb to the top of the ski slope for a big downhill finish. I only had 1.5 miles left to go and was on one of the steep Birkebeiners when my left hamstring cramped up, if felt like the muscle had torn away from the bone and was curling up, I heard that thing happens to football players but I had never had a cramp like that before. It happened just as I was pushing down with my left leg at the top of the peddle stroke so the bike came to a complete stop (uphill remember) and I “crashed” sideways (a slow gentle fall really but we define a crash as anytime you end up with more than your feet on the ground). The lady pushing her bike next to me asked me if I was okay. I told her my leg decided it was done peddling and then I asked her if there was anyone coming up behind us so I knew whether I was going to get run over. She said no so I massaged my hamstring and walked the rest of the way up the hill, remounted the bike, went on a downhill, rode the next uphill mostly using my right leg to avoid cramping my left leg again all the while listening to Doug calling me on the walkie talkie but he evidently couldn’t hear me answering. As I crested that hill I was told by a volunteer that I was entering the “bowl”, which was the ski slope downhill finish, so I yelled into the walkie talkie that I was entering the “bowl”, but then I saw that I actually had one more hill to climb before I was really in the “bowl”. Doug called back that he couldn’t see me in the bowl and that I only had a little over a minute left to make my goal of coming in under four hours and that Joe and Craig had already finished. So, evidently somewhere Craig had passed me and we hadn’t seen each other!!! Then my right thigh cramped up on that last uphill and I had to dismount and hobble to the top of the hill on two bad legs!! When I got to the top Doug could see me and told me to get on my horse and get it in gear (really it was something else that I can’t print either) or I wouldn’t make it under four hours. There was a big slippery turn at the bottom of the ski hill and then one more steep short hill before the actual finish line so I had to scrub off my speed at the bottom so I didn’t crash and when I hit that last hill I was downshifting and downshifting to try to stay riding as I knew I couldn’t make it walking, but I knew I didn’t want to cramp up again either. Doug told me I only had 10 seconds left as I was about to give up and walk but then I could see the finish line as my head popped up over the top of the hill and Doug was screaming at me in the walkie talkie, so I gave it everything I had to get to the finish line, and then I heard Doug groan, four hours, and ONE second, on the clock above the finish line!!!! CRAP!!!! When I got through the chute I met up with Doug and Joe. Joe’s teeth were chattering because he finished 26 minutes earlier and was getting cold, then Craig who finished 10 minutes earlier walked up and he was also cold and wet and his back hurt and they wanted to get to the truck, go back to the hotel, get a hot shower and go eat. I was hot literally, even though I just had on shorts and a completely unzipped short sleeve shirt while Joe and Craig had on a LOT more clothes; and figuratively because I wanted to go to the lost and found and look for the dang walkie talkie Joe lost, because I was sure that it was the extra weight of MY walkie talkie that had cost me the TWO lousy seconds I needed to come in under four hours!!! It started to rain hard so I acquiesced and we left to clean up and go to Club 77 for our classy post race dinner, another of Craig and Doug’s rituals. Before we left for dinner, Joe checked the website for the official race times: Joe aka “The Rocket” aka “Lojack” Rosenhauer finished in a extremely respectable 3:34:29.2; Craig aka “Chief” Drozd finished in 3:49:05.4; and Dan aka “Krash” Kiplinger finished in 3:59:47.9—so I actually DID come in under my goal of less than 4 hours—whooohoooo!!!! We had a fabulous dinner, and on that note (under 4 hours) I even had a beer to try to dull the physical pain from the race!!!

We had oatmeal in our rooms Sunday morning and then Craig drove to Marquette where we stopped at Wendy’s for lunch even though Doug wanted “real” food, which he described as not greasy and no salads! I drove the rest of the way home from there and it rained really hard starting at Mackinaw. We saw hundreds of turkeys and a lot of deer on the drive there and hundreds of crows, a large bald eagle on the side of the road that tried to fly into the side of the truck, and two baby bobcats on the drive back.

So, it was quite an experience, good times, good company, and well worth it.

Race information: http://www.cheqfattire.com/pages/news.shtml.

Map for the race: http://www.cheqfattire.com/MAPFLYERINSIDE.pdf.

Footnote: I sent an Email to the race organizers asking if anyone turned in a yellow and black walkie talkie to the lost and found and low and behold, they did!! They sent it to me, at no charge, and when I got it there wasn’t a scratch on it, it wasn’t water damaged, and it still worked!! I am going to reimburse them for the postage, but what a really really well run race!!!

Additional footnote: If you want to know about Craig’s, Doug’s or Joe’s experience you’ll have to ask them for their own ride report, I’m sure it will be much shorter!!! Ask them about the imported liquids, snacks and wireless internet.

Mysterious disappearance of Mike "I Love My Bike" Kurpinski solved.

Mysterious disappearance of Mike “I Love My Bike” Kurpinski solved.

Okay, Mike “I Love My Bike” Kurpinski has been conspicuously absent from all the rides this year, has rarely responded to the ride invitations and has not joined in the banter back and forth through Email about not riding, ride reports, etc... To be honest, I was getting worried that he had been in a bike accident and was in the hospital, or was just plain in the hospital with medical problems because he is even older than I am, and that he just couldn’t communicate with us!!! So, I decided to try to reach him on his cell phone Friday August 1^st to invite him to the “Lojack Gravel Road Ride” on Saturday August 2^nd but all I got was his voice mail so I left him a message.

When I got home from the “Lojack Gravel Road Ride” I had a voice mail from Mike, so “he---is---alive!!!”

Turns out Mike has been at his cottage in Indiana since July 3^rd, with no Internet connection, limited cell phone connectivity, and even less of an inclination to be in touch with the outside world now that he is living large in his early retirement from EDS!!! He just happened to be back in town for a wedding and to vote in the primary elections and then he was heading back down to his cottage until sometime in September, even if his wife has to start back teaching in late August!!! Talk about enjoying life, and to have a wife willing to work full time to support his lavish retirement, what a lady, and boy is he lucky!!!

Mike bought a commuter bike to run errands and go shopping with but he has been doing gravel road rides with his daughter on his CANNONDALE mountain bike. That’s right; he is a fellow Cannondale rider, “why ride the rest when you can ride the best?” He also said that he has been riding a LOT of miles and doing LONG rides. So, let me translate for you. He has been riding with his daughter, A LOT, and riding on his own for LONG rides to boot, preparing for the Iceman race in November. I know Mike; I wouldn’t put it past him to be riding with an exercise vest with 40 pounds of weights as well!!!

For the rest of you actual mountain bike riders, be afraid, be very afraid when Mike “I Love My Bike” Kurpinski gets back here and starts riding with us again!!

Sincerely,

Dan “Krash” Kiplinger

“Embedded” in-the-field Correspondent and Editor-in-chief for the “Official Mountain Bike Ride Report”.

"Lojack Gravel Road Ride"

Official Mountain Bike Ride Report for the “Lojack Gravel Road Ride”, 22.5 gravel road and trail ride.

First off, I have been taking some good natured ribbing from Craig “Chief” Drozd and Doug “Rhino” Jones due to the lack of ride reports lately. Of course the last ride report that Doug did was my spectacular crash years ago and Craig’s was a year or two ago after either the Iceman or Chequamegon Fat Tire mountain bike races! Heck, even the “new” guy, Kirk Schaeffer, had the audacity to razz me about not seeing any ride reports, he even asked me if I had his correct Email address!! I think he is just mad that he doesn’t have a nickname yet, but since he is riding, and crap he is fast, and he is a friend of Doug Jones, I think I will cut him some slack and write up the 5 missing ride reports for everyone’s reading pleasure. So, I will be sending out a number of delinquent ride reports in the near future.

There was a ride Saturday, 8/2, starting at Joe “Lojack” Rosenhauer’s house, so this ride will be formally known as the “Lojack Gravel Road Ride” from now on. It was going to be just Joe and me but Craig Drozd called me early Saturday morning (he was on vacation and didn’t see the ride invitation until late Friday night) and asked if we were riding and since we were he saddled up and drove to Joe’s house to join us! Where have all the other riders gone?

We started off and I quickly fell behind Joe and Craig. That seems to be a common refrain but I chalk it up to them having almost a two month head start on me this year in regards to training rides. Then I hear Craig exclaim that he forgot his sunglasses on the spare tire of his Jeep, again, as he done in past rides! We highly recommend riding with glasses because you can have a serious crash if you take a branch to the eye on a downhill or fast section, heck you could also just suffer a serious eye injury, and of course it is mountain biking so you could end up with sand, dirt or rocks in your eyes from the riders tires in front of you. That is why it is difficult to decide whether to lead and be the first to encounter the branches and have to call them out for the following riders, or follow and risk all the debris from everyone’s tires in front of you. But hey, its mountain biking so it is all good.

When we got to the 3 mile “trail loop” (think Gilligan’s Island-just a 3 hour tour!!!) Craig and Joe made me lead since they thought I was dogging it. Now what you have to realize is this is a simple 3 mile trail loop with a 9 mile first hill, yes you read that right—a 9 mile first hill. It starts out in the parking lot and goes up; through a tunnel of trees so you can only see so far up the trail, then it has a series of turns so you can see even less far. It is loose sand and gravel to make it that much more difficult. It goes up somewhat gently for a good ways, and then it pitches up considerably more so you are quickly downshifting out of the big front chain ring into the middle front chain ring. It turns right and pitches up considerably more, turns left, pitches up considerably more, turns right again, pitches up considerably more, then flattens out on a bare patch of dirt in an opening with no trees and you think that you are at the top. But NO, it pitches up again and you are sure that this hill has turned into a giant treadmill, and that it keeps speeding up more and more and inclining more and more before you can get to the front of the revolving tread and turn it off!!! So you down shift into the small front chain ring! It pitches up, and turns, and pitches up and turns again and again and you downshift until you are in “granny/granny” gear (small front chain ring, big rear cassette ring for the lowest possible gear you have) and your lungs are and legs are burning and then you see another clearing up ahead. You think you are going to find that guy on the top of the mountain you go to ask the meaning of life but nooo, it pitches up again and you look down at your gears in the futile hope that you can find a “great granny” gear!!! Finally, the tread mill quits and you crest the top of the 9 mile hill, barely able to breathe, vision narrowed and dimmed due to the lack of oxygen only to plunge into a steep downhill with two turns. As you try to stay on the trail and miss the trees and rocks you think what a long wild ride it is going to be, except it abruptly turns into another uphill??? You struggle up the hill and wonder what the heck happened to the big downhill that should follow that 9 mile uphill when all of a sudden, another step down hill with two more turns about twice as long as the last one. But again it abruptly turns into an even steeper uphill and I furiously downshift again, and drop the chain off of the front chain rings almost crashing and have to stop while Joe “Lojack” Rosenhauer flies by me. I quickly put the chain back on and run the rest of the way up the hill so I can try to get back on the bike before Craig “Chief” Drozd passes me, and yeesss, I am successful, no sign of Craig yet.

I rode like crazy through the winding trail as it goes through knee deep grass and raspberry vines getting wet from the dew and scratched up at the same time. I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if I could keep in the center of the trail but nooo, I have to try to catch Joe. Then, as I pass through the apple orchard I about crash several times, why you ask? Think about all those movies you have seen where the bad guys fall after the good guys dump a bunch of marbles on the floor. Yep, a bunch of fallen apples is a lot like marbles, especially when you still haven’t regained all your vision from the oxygen deprivation. After a couple of wicked down hills with 90 degree turns at the bottom, scrubbing off all of my speed, then some sandy spots just for good measure, I got to the final 3 short but very steep hills but I still don’t see any sign of Joe, or Craig for that matter. I drop my chain off of the front chain rings again on the steepest hill and as I walk to the top I am thinking why is it so hot this early in the morning as my sunglasses are fogging up. Finally I get back to the beginning of the trail where I find Joe leisurely reading the information on the bulletin board. I take off my helmet and sunglasses and put them on the ledge on the bulletin board so I can raise my seat post to try to get some more leg extension and speed. Craig rides up and declares that he had some mechanical problems with his rear wheel several times and had to straighten it so that was why he was so far behind. We check our odometers and sure enough, it is only 3 miles, but that 9 mile hill is not a figment of our imaginations, seriously!!! If you don’t believe me, you come ride it with us!!!

Just as we started to ride back to the gravel road Craig was kind enough to remind me not to leave my helmet and sunglasses on the ledge!!! See oxygen deprivation is real as I never ride without a helmet, and had Craig not been suffering from it also he would have realized it would have been even funnier to remind me at the top off hill on the way back to the gravel road so I would have had to go back my helmet and glasses and ride the hill a second time!!! We insist that everyone who rides with us wears a helmet!!!! We don’t want to have any serious head injuries that could have been avoided with a helmet, that and many of the trails actually state that helmets are required. We also recommend wearing gloves so that you don’t have to dig gravel out of the palms of your hands if you do happen to crash.

About half way through the 22.5 mile ride, Craig flew by Joe and me so that he could stop up ahead at an intersection to adjust his rear wheel again. I don’t know what he did that time, but when we started riding again he just took off and left Joe in the dust. But don’t feel bad for Joe, because Joe left me in his dust as well!! Turns out that when Joe and I finally caught up to Craig, in Joe’s driveway, Craig was just frustrated with his rear wheel and took it out on it by riding like a bat out of hell the last 12 miles!! So, while I finished in about 1:44:00, I am sure that Craig finished in the low 1:30:00’s, which is pretty darn fast for 22.5 miles.

Still looking for some of our other intrepid riders who were AWOL!

Sincerely,

Dan “Krash” Kiplinger

“Embedded” in-the-field Correspondent and Editor-in-chief for the “Official Mountain Bike Ride Report”.

BAB Mountain Bike Trail Ride

Official Mountain Bike Ride Report for BAB // Bald Mountain--Addison Oaks--Bald Mountain, 14.36 mile Mountain Bike Trail Ride.

There was a ride tonight, Thursday, 7/31, but it was only Joe “Lojack” Rosenhauer and me, AND that new guy again, Kirk Schaeffer, on his old mountain bike!!

Where have all the riders gone? Doug Jones needed new brakes on his “new” bike and his “old” bike doesn’t have any spring left in the front suspension so he cancelled and Tony Bruce cancelled after his bike broke on his commute to work. That’s right, Tony rides his bike to work and we aren’t talking about a simple 5 mile ride, he is riding quite a bit further than that!!

Joe took the lead with Kirk following him, that way Kirk had someone to follow since he hasn’t ridden the BAB // Bald Mountain—Addison Oaks—Bald Mountain 14.36 mile combination trail and gravel road ride yet. I followed Kirk, that way he couldn’t get left behind and lost. That and I could ride slower since I was in last place (see Daniela—there is a reason I ride last).

At the “Pine Tree Loop”, where I lost Dave Kowalik a few rides back, Joe called out “right”, so that Kirk would know to turn right but since it was only his second ride Kirk heard “you all right?” and answered “okay”. Now that was fine but since Kirk couldn’t actually see Joe he went straight and missed the turn! When I caught up I saw that Kirk missed the turn so I had to try to catch up to him to let him know to wait since Joe was now behind us. Of course I hadn’t ridden in two weeks and gained 4.2 pounds while I was in Florida last week so it took me quite awhile to actually catch Kirk. Once I caught him we had to wait for Joe, but of course he was further back down the trail waiting for us!!! Just as I started to go back Joe came up the trail figuring that we must have missed the “Pine Tree Loop” and that we were now in front of him.

Kirk was fine with the pace, fine—heck I was barely keeping up with him—so we took off again since the mosquitoes were eating us alive. When we got over to the Addison Oaks section of the trails Joe continued to lead, with Kirk next, and then me following but pretty soon Kirk was surprised by a steep uphill and couldn’t make it, had to dismount and I passed him!! Lame I know, since he doesn’t know the trail!! However, I started to feel much better so I pressed on, trying to keep just ahead of Kirk to encourage him to go faster because he said he wanted to be “pushed”. I called out downhills and uphills and other terrain to make it easier for Kirk to anticipate things and by golly he really did well. Of course Kirk subscribes to the Doug Jones school of riding (“brakes on a downhill? Who needs those? They just slow you down!) and is a downhill speed demon!! Need I tell you that Joe “Lojack” Rosenhauer was so far out in front of us that we found him taking a nap at the concession stand at the end of the trail!!

Now I have to warn all you other riders, and those of you who should be riding but aren’t. Kirk is riding a 16 year old RIGID mountain bike, with toe cages no less, and it was only his second ride with the “group” but we still rode the BAB ride in our BEST TIME YET, 1:14:28!!!! Rumor has it that Kirk is trying to buy a new full suspension killer bike, so watch out!!!! If he does, Doug Jones will just have to break down and buy that 29 inch killer hard tail race bike he so desperately wants!!!

Still looking for some of our other intrepid riders who were AWOL!

Sincerely,
Dan “Krash” Kiplinger
“Embedded” in-the-field Correspondent and Editor-in-chief for the “Official Mountain Bike Ride Report”.

Pontiac Lake Recreation Area

Official Mountain Bike Ride Report for Pontiac Lake Recreation Area Mountain Bike Trail Ride

There was a ride last Thursday, 7/24, but I was on vacation so no one wrote a ride report. I heard that only Craig “Chief” Drozd and Doug “Rhino” Jones showed up for the ride so where have all the riders gone? However the good news is that Doug did bring a new rider, Kirk Schaeffer, who was riding a 16 year old rigid (no suspension at all) mountain bike with toe cages! I also heard that Craig had a fairly bad crash, although there were no eye witnesses, and that he had to take the short cut back to the parking lot because he couldn’t continue the ride. Craig was on vacation this week so I don’t know what his medical condition is but we hope he is recovered and ready to ride next week!

Sincerely,
Dan “Krash” Kiplinger
“Embedded” in-the-field Correspondent and Editor-in-Chief for the “Official Mountain Bike Ride Report”.